November 20, 2021

Mostly, no comment

My name is Mallory Greenstock. That’s not me in the picture. Since it’s plainly visible, I suppose it’s what the Author thinks I look like. But the gesture is pure me. Everything is a big shush, confidential, a secret. I’m an Assistant United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York. I work in our headquarters office in lower Manhattan. I’m head of the organized crime unit. Or was as of the events portrayed in Everything Is Jake (see our FAQ on this website). People ask me about what I do, and I say I oversee the development and trial of cases, and they ask what sorts of cases and I say federal felonies of all sorts committed by members of major criminal organizations, including violent gangs and the Mafia. It’s when people ask which particular cases that I start to clam up. It’s not my job to publicize them; it’s my job to win them fairly by competent staffing, investigation, preparation, trial, and appeals. I’d say we do a pretty good job.

Since the publication of the book a month ago, I’ve received much mail asking about a lot of things. Some letters have been quite detailed, wanting to know everything from my favorite song, color, bird, land-locked invertebrate, automobile, author, football, basketball, and baseball teams, Supreme Court justices, and dinnerware patterns to my choice of rug designs, books and reading material, pets, food types, movies, and even operas. I can’t imagine why anyone would care what I think about any of those things. In most cases I don’t even have an opinion. And what difference does it make if I think Albie’s Burgers are better than the hamburgers at Gentlemen’s Meats? Holy Moley, why do people bother?

Am I happy about the fate of Romo Malbonum? Personally? Yes. Will I advocate leniency in light of the facts? I doubt it. Am I worried? Yes. I’m always worried. That’s what makes a good prosecutor. Am I going to continue to be a prosecutor in light of the book’s surprising denouement? I hope so. I think so.

I’m sorry I can’t reply individually to every letter or email our readers have sent. It’s really rather overwhelming. I thought the Yale Law School alumnae fund solicitation was over the top. Who knew about fans? But in answer to Mr. T. B. W.’s inquiry, No, it’s highly unlikely that the Southern District website will post my real picture any time soon.


  1. Hattie McSporkle November 20, 2021 at 12:37 am

    You must have a favorite something. If it’s not colors or books or snacks, what about words? You’re a lawyer so you must be a word person. What’s your favorite word?
    Miss Hattie McSporkle

    • Mallory Greenstock November 20, 2021 at 12:45 am


  2. Munson Sute December 2, 2021 at 10:18 am

    I just noticed your post. You seem to be suggesting that you are no longer head of the organized crime unit. Is that true? Have you left that job? Just the job? Or the office itself? Are you changing jobs? Do you have a new job? Where are you going? Wait, does it have something to do with, you know, the things that happened at the end of the book?

    • Mallory Greenstock December 2, 2021 at 10:26 am

      See, I told them, the people at the website, that this was going to cause problems. How do you expect me to conduct negotiations on sensitive matters if they get spread out over the entire Internet? I absolutely refuse to comment, so let me just say that you’re the one drawing the implications, Mr. Sute, not me or anyone around me. I pride myself on writing tightly and I confess to a bit of sloppiness in my original post there (here). I didn’t expect anybody to read anything into that line. I stand corrected. If there’s any change, we’ll announce it, so if it’s not announced, you can take that to mean nothing’s changed. Don’t even try to hack my phones. The ones I talk on have numbers inaccessible to the public. And besides, who has important conversations on the phone? Who even talks on the phone? I’m trying to be polite here. Go bark up another tree.

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