October 28, 2021

Now that I’m famous . . .

How come I’m always the last to learn important things about life here at PBDS? I mean, I just heard that we have this “screening room” or whatever it is where we can get in touch with each other — without leaving home. Well, what I want to know is whether we get perks now that we’re famous. I mean, the book is now out, right? People are reading about us. They know our names. I might have to watch out for autograph seekers. That could spoil undercover work. Anyway, okay, it’s not a movie; they don’t know what we look like, I guess. But still, we have our own website. That’s got to count for something. Anything? Just one thing? You know the one perk I’d like the most? A 555 phone number. All the celebrity characters I’ve ever seen or read about get them. I don’t see why I can’t have one now. I was in lots of chapters. You know, like (202) 555-1234. I’d take that one. Or (202) 555-0973. Whatever. TR, can you help?


  1. T.R. Softly November 3, 2021 at 11:45 pm

    Hey, Formerly, sorry for the delay. Your post just caught up with me. (I’m still in Milwaukee.) I wish I could get you a 555 number, but according to our guy at the phone company, those numbers are restricted (because there are so few) to major Hollywood stars. Doesn’t seem fair, I know. But it’s now on the To Do list, and I’ll look deeper into it when I get back. TRS

  2. Holly November 6, 2021 at 3:18 pm

    Hey, Formerly, I’m a big admirer. Can we meet? I guess you can’t give me your phone number. How about meeting in person? I’ll be at Gentleman’s Meats (or is Meets?) a week from Saturday at noon. I’ll be wearing the pink pointed hat with the two green straws at the back. My name is Holly.

    • Formerly Mumford November 6, 2021 at 9:56 pm

      If you’re really a Holly, Holly, thanks for the invitation but I’m sure you can think of at least 2 of the 15 reasons I can’t accept. If you have a problem you’d like us to look into, call, text, or email the office for an appointment.
      L. Lewis

      • Holly November 12, 2021 at 4:35 pm

        I can think of at least 2 of 15 reasons you should accept. One is that I’m buying.

        • Lance Lewis November 12, 2021 at 4:44 pm

          I’m beginning to think maybe you’re really orJean trying to test my knowledge of PBDS rules. Taking gratuities from strangers is strictly forbidden. Take the author to dinner, Holly. Every author likes free meals.

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