Getting one thing straight

Lately I’ve been inundated with mail from all over wanting me to send along autographed pictures or go to dinner or endorse medical compression stockings. Let’s get one thing straight. I’m a psychologist, a medical doctor, and a PhD neuroscientist. Ever since the book came out, people seem to think I’m some sort of celebrity actor (though I confess I’m a little miffed that so far I haven’t heard from Stephen Colbert’s schedulers, but the feeling will pass). Some guys are even proposing marriage. (Haven’t they read the book?) So let me say it just this once. I’m a character, not an actor. Characters are independent. We don’t follow scripts. We do our work, and under a special arrangement with our Author, agree to let our stories be told. Maybe we’ll meet one day, Mr. Crispin Maldorp, but if so, only because you’ve become part of the story. And you don’t get into the story even by inviting me to your chateau on the Cote d’Azur. On the other hand, I’m always happy to have serious discussions about cutting-edge research into psychological and neurological aspects of human behavior. Research. I don’t take private patients. I’m not a psychiatrist (and if I were, Fiona, I most definitely would not be a Freudian, so keep your analyses to yourself). Willikers, I thought that appearing in the book would get me grants, not fawning gawkers.

K. Blumenthrace, M.D., Ph.D.

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